flapperorslapper:

Martha, before I change, here’s a list of instructions for when I’m human:

• One: Don’t let me hurt anyone. We can’t have that, you know what humans are like.
• Two: Don’t worry about the TARDIS. I’ll put it on emergency power, so they can’t detect it. Just let it hide away.
• Four: - no, wait a minute,
• Three: No getting involved in historical events.
• Four: You. Don’t let me abandon you. 
• And five: very important five - Don’t let me eat pears. I hate pears. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won’t know that, I’ll think I am him, and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months, I don’t want to wake up from being human and taste that.
• And six: Now I have to talk for around about a minute without hesitation, deviation, or whatever the other thing is. It’s like that panel game on Channel 4, like Rory just pointed out. However, I’m going to move on and say
• Number seven: and talk about my other favorite band, which is the Housemartins. I don’t know if anyone remembers the Housemartins, but the best gig I ever went to was at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Center in about December, it must have been, 1990, and the Housemartins were playing, and it was quite simply the best gig I’d ever been to. They split up quite soon afterwards - I don’t know what that tells you about that particular event.

I’m sitting in the TARDIS now, and I’m going to wind up soon, but not before I make a few strange noises with my mouth that will go somewhere along the lines of: bingle, bongle, dingle, dangle, yickedy doo, yickedy daa, ping, pong, lippy tappy too ta.
And twenty-three: If anything goes wrong. If they find us, Martha, then you know what to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_TMUJIWwyI